| 1 | Feeling angry is good. Anger tells us something is wrong. Using violence or abusive language are never acceptable ways of coping with anger. |
| 2 | Instead of giving time outs, take one yourself. |
| 3 | Use this time to talk yourself down from hostile thoughts, feelings and urges. |
| 4 | Don't blame others for the fact that you are feeling angry. Take 100% responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and urges. |
| 5 | Play detective with yourself. Hurts, fears and vulnerability often hide beneath anger. |
| 6 | Consider the consequences, to you and others, for your choice of words and actions. Consequences come now or they come later, but they always show up! |
| 7 | Be specific and talk about the 'real' problem. |
| 8 | Avoid the tug of war - your way/their way. Instead use everyone's creativity to find a solution that will work. |
| 9 | Maintain your dignity; help others keep theirs. |
| 10 | Be fair. Be generous. |
