Facing Violence Among Men

Men can help stop violence by acting as positive role models. By demonstrating positive and healthy interactions between each other and women they can teach other men and boys alternatives to relationships that rely on domination and control. Increasing numbers of men are realizing that they need to take responsibility for what they do. Many are asking for help to change the way they act. There are currently over 2000 programs for men who have assaulted their partners.[1] Many men's organizations support violence prevention education by producing educational materials, facilitating or co-facilitating workshops, and organizing events.

Suggested Activities

Dating Relationships and Aggression - Organize a seminar and share myths, facts and other information on dating relationships at a local high school, community college or university.
Drum out Violence - Aboriginal, African and Latin cultures use drumming for healing and celebratory purposes. Find out if there is someone in your community who would like to hold a drumming session or workshop.
Boys and Men event - Host a sporting event with Fathers and Sons or "Boys in the Hood". Emphasize that, win or lose, boys and men can learn from their mistakes without feeling ashamed, and that praise feels a lot better than put-downs.[2]

Testimonial Men's Support Group

YWCA of Calgary

"I'm your prime example of a male who had a tough childhood...I went into group with so much hate and blame and certainly did not look forward to the meetings in any way...(now) I have learned how to recognize when I am falling into my negative thought patterns and how I can alter this in the early stages...The biggest reward is I like myself now and others around me perceive this now...I see my progression in the ability to overcome and deal with life's obstacles as positive growth instead of defeat and loss."

Facts

One in five men living with a woman admits to assaulting her.[3].
Violent men are three times as likely as nonviolent men to have witnessed spousal violence in childhood.
Fathers were the majority of reported offenders in cases of assaults against male and female children and youth, regardless of the type of abuse or the child's age. In 1997, in incidents involving parents, fathers were accused in 97% of sexual assaults and 71% of physical assaults.[4].
In 1999 males committed 85.5% of violent crimes. Thirty-nine percent of violent crimes in 1999 involved males attacking other males.

Resources

The White Ribbon Campaign works on many events and projects that aim to end men's violence against women. They have an activity on healthy relationships for educators and facilitators available online .

The group encourages people to wear White Ribbons from Nov. 25th (the International Day for the Eradication of Violence Against Women) to Dec. 6th (Canada's National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women) and host events related to other important dates such as International Women's Day and Father's Day.

365 Bloor Street East, Suite 203
Toronto, ON M4W 3L4
Tel: (416) 920-6684/1-800-328-2228
Fax: (416) 920-1678
www.whiteribbon.ca

Men for Change are committed to violence prevention education. They publish a three volume Healthy Relationships Curriculum that is being used in schools in Canada and the U.S. Three activities on gender stereotypes can be found through:
Learning Gender Stereotypes
Exposing Gender Stereotypes
The Impact of Gender Role Stereotypes
Quinpool PO 33005
Halifax, NS B3L 4T6
Tel: (902) 457-4351
Fax: (902) 457-4597
www.m4c.ns.ca

Terrence Real's book (1998) I don't want to talk about it shows a way out of depression for men and shows the potential for ending a legacy of violence. It is published by Simon & Schuster Trade. Order it from your local bookstore.
Paul Kivel has written a number of resources for an audience of men and boys such as Boys will be Men and Men's Work. He has also written Uprooting Racism. We can recommend Making the Peace which he co-authored with Allan Creighton. See www.paulkivel.com or call 1-800-567-6772 for more info.
For a list of programs for abusive men in Canada call (613) 957-2938 or 1-800-267-1291(toll free) or go to this link.
Children Now (U.S.) is committed to improving the lives of children. They have completed several national studies on the impact of sports and media on boys which can be viewed here.

1 Trimble, D. (2000). Counselling Programs for Men Who Are Violent: Questions and Answers for Practioners in the Health, Social Services and Criminal Justice Systems. Family Violence Prevention Unit, Health Canada. <source link>

2 Kendrick, C. Foul Balls and Furious Fathers. <source link>

3 The Body Shop (2000). In the Name of Love STOP Violence Against Women.

4 Statistics Canada (1999) The Daily: Family violence: A statistical profile 1997. The Daily. Friday, June 11, 1999

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